i thought of some answer to the stupid comment "i ...

2006-09-27T01:37:18.486-04:00

i thought of some answer to the stupid comment "i could never give up my baby"

How about: "I could never give up mine either. I never did. I was never given the chance to raise him. That was taken away from me."

Or for those whose babies were "scooped at birth": "I could never give up a child either. Mine was taken from me at birth because i was young and unwed."

I don't think the non adopted know the painful sid...

2006-09-26T20:08:45.923-04:00

I don't think the non adopted know the painful side of adoption. I think the blind don't want to see the dark side of adoption. Yep I feel the tragic side of adoption. I understand what robin says about adopters. My a mom loves the hell out of the daughter that my !@#$ mom threw out. Please don't say otherwise. That is my truth and I unfortunately have to own it. For whatever reason, my

(enthusiastic cheers)

2006-09-26T19:51:17.066-04:00

(enthusiastic cheers)

Your resiliency amazes me, you suffer so many slin...

2006-09-26T15:52:49.350-04:00

Your resiliency amazes me, you suffer so many slings and arrows from outraged aparents. And respond so graciously.

I don't know, maybe that would mean more if it wasn't coming from a neurotic extremist like moi.

SHOULD NOT BE OK TO GIVE AWAY ONES BABY!!!! It's N...

2006-09-26T10:32:15.620-04:00

SHOULD NOT BE OK TO GIVE AWAY ONES BABY!!!!
It's NOT OK. Really, it sucks big doneky balls. And when on really did not have to do it, when there were oter options, that one chooses to not see or never got any help to see them, or whatever..even then, it is NOT OK. It is not even ok when it is a choice. It is not Ok when one is "just not ready to parent at this time"..it is not OK when "a

the line that caught my eye was the judgement from...

2006-09-25T19:06:28.310-04:00
the line that caught my eye was the judgement from others - "i could never give up my baby" and yes, i look at mine and cannot fathom it, cannot fathom them growing up in another's house AND i see that you do say the same about the kiddies that came after max and that vision just reinforces the fact that no, you never gave up max, maybe physically but oh so not in any other way. the old don't say

For me, losing my daughter to adoption was and sti...

2006-09-25T15:58:32.990-04:00
For me, losing my daughter to adoption was and still is a tragedy. It doesn't matter if it gave her a better chance or not, it was and still is painful.

For people to deny that there is a dark side to adoption, that it's something we must ALL celebrate is ignorant.
I understand and respect that for the people who get our children it's not a tragedy but still. I don't want people

I'm piggy-backing on to third mom's post a bit her...

2006-09-25T14:06:02.620-04:00
I'm piggy-backing on to third mom's post a bit here--because I think she's right. I think our society--as a whole--is very unforgiving of bio-moms.

And of course there is pain and loss with adoption for the adoptees. Absolutely. I think every adopteed goes through a number of stages once they accept the reality of adoption. I remember, when I first decided to search, thinking, "I'd

As always, thanks, Claud. You tell it like it is....

2006-09-25T12:55:53.406-04:00
As always, thanks, Claud. You tell it like it is.

There's so much to chew on in this post, but one thing jumps to the front of my mind - what you say about stigma.

I think that one of the reasons we see so much positive press toward adoption and adoptive families is that there was a time in the not so distant past when stimatizing adoptees was the norm (and I would say that

And, as it has been said before, "there is no YOUR...

2006-09-25T11:14:19.530-04:00
And, as it has been said before, "there is no YOUR truth and MY truth...there is only THE truth." And the truth is that losing a child to adoption serves no one but the adopter and the people who make money from the transaction. That child can either flourish or not, but there will ALWAYS be a loss and I don't believe any adopted person who says that there was no loss.

When we mom have

Comments on Musings of the Lame: Tragedy and Stigma

i thought of some answer to the stupid comment "i ...

I don't think the non adopted know the painful sid...

(enthusiastic cheers)

Your resiliency amazes me, you suffer so many slin...

SHOULD NOT BE OK TO GIVE AWAY ONES BABY!!!! It's N...

the line that caught my eye was the judgement from...

For me, losing my daughter to adoption was and sti...

I'm piggy-backing on to third mom's post a bit her...

As always, thanks, Claud. You tell it like it is....

And, as it has been said before, "there is no YOUR...