Illinois Open Acess to Birth Certificate fight..

Idiots at the gate... Worth a minute to pitch a comment and perhaps educate some? I could only do so much pre-coffee this AM.. Thanks to Jenna for this call out via Twitter this AM.

Adoptees More Likely to be Troubled - says new study

While quite a few of the mainstream media seems to have picked up on this, the lovely MSP sent me the notice of the Time article. Thank you, my friend! Now before I go off on an infmous FauxClaud adoption rant, please follow that link that appears below that says " digg story" and take a minute to sign up for Digg and then "digg it". If the dern thing gets a significant number of diggs, then it has a chance of more people actually seeing it and giving a dern..so worth the few minutes to sign up. (believe me folks..I spend 8 hours day doing SEO stuff and understanding how to get news nd such across the web..so these stupid things like Digg, they work) This is something that family preservation and reproductive exploitation groups such as Origins-USA.org have been saying for years.The adoption agencies and other legal professionals NEVER inform the relinquishing parents or prespective adoptive parents the real RISKS that adoption opens up to the children surrendered. read more digg story ***** Now, for many of us, this really isn't news. This is something that HAS been studies before and has been published before, but alas, many folks still naysay it. In fact, I have to say that I find offense to this quote in the article:

The Minnesota psychologist and her colleagues found that disparity could be due as often to innate factors such as perinatal care or his birth parents' genes. "The deleterious effects may quite possibly have come before the adoption ever took place," Keyes, the study's lead researcher, says.

I won't agrue pre-natal care becasue that has been shown to be a risk factor towards certain behaviors, most notedly ADHD. Low birth weight, prematurity, prenatal choices are proven to affect the mental well being of kids and adults. It would also be ignorant of me to fail to recognize that there are very real menatl health issues that are not genertically related, BUT the risks that face the general non adopted population regarding all those factors should be the SAME as the percentages of adopted children. The comment made infers that reliquishing parents do less than the regular population regarding the care of their children or have a higher tendency to have genetic mental issues to pass down to the surrenderd kids, and THAT is bunk ESPECIALLY in this study. In this study, while they looked at adoptees from both international and domestic situations, all were adopted before the age of 2, so that pretty much precludes any children that were from CPS removals and had suffered any form of truama induceing abuse. While I can take the ideal that adoptive parents are more apt to be versed in the mental health aspect, or be more likey to seek help for the adopted child, or be more aware of asssitnce being needed, even that cannot account for what is concluded..adoptees are overrepresented in the mental health field than non adopteed persons or as the study says:

Nevertheless, being adopted approximately doubled the odds of having contact with a mental health professional and of having a disruptive behavior disorder.

Adoption doubles the risk: That's not a small percentage. That's nothing that can be dismissed with a wave of the hand. If we were talking about something other than adoption, say, the use of some diet drugs that doubles the risk of a stroke, then you KNOW the FDA would have to pull the diet drug or risk facing huge lawsuits. You have to really begin to wonder why this is happeneing. For many, we see the answers as obvious: There is the Primal Wound...separated at a very young age from the only world and comfort they know, their mother, the adoptee is unable to understand or verbalize their feealings of grief and loss. ALl they know is something terrible has happened, but they must somehow internalize this and survival kicks in. So we hear a great number of reports that either cliam that an adopted baby is just a dream, the perfect good baby ( internalizing and dening their greif and loss) or a difficult coliky baby (epressing it anyway they can, but frequntly assumed as "colic" for lack of any physical reason and sometimes the drug treatments begins right there while still in diapers). While the Primal Wound can be somewhat mitigated by a caring and acknowledging adoptive parent, the thing is, if it could be avoided completely, by not separating a baby from the mother, then it really should be. ANother reason to avoid unnesseary surenders or in simple terms, if mom is not planning on beating the baby or starving ti, then you can probably get around all the other factors that seem to make adoption sound like a good idea. So now we have a child or may or may not have experinced the Primal Would (and I say may or may not becasue their are many adoptess who will want to kick your face in for even suggesting that adoption has affected them, so there always must be an out). Anyway, now we have the adopted child..and they may have other adoptee issues to deal with. Genetic Mirroring is a very big issue too and something that the non adopted segment of the population takes for granted. Being raised in your biological family means that you get to see people all around you who look like you, who may act like you, or may share the same interests as you. Like I can see that Scarlett has the very same dare devil annoy anyone to death and not knowing when to stop attitude as her dad. Tristan, on the othehand, is extremely causious, though silly, but takes some time to warm up to new situations. It was actually just this past birthday vist that I realized that he is so very similar to my brother in temperment. Matt is also extremely causious, thinks things trought and plans ahead. For me, understanding genetic mirroring became very clear to me when I was prsenting at KAAN last year with Margie, and was lsitening on a seasson by a Koarean Adoptee. She was explaining how, being a Kaorean in New Hampshire, surrounded by white New Englanders, she would be shocked when she saw her own refelction in the mirror. From seeing only non Asians all the time, she internalized herself as a non Asian and that's what she was used to. About two years ago, I was tucking Scarlett into bed and I smiled at her when I was listening to one of her babble stories. She looked at me and said, " Mommy, I love that smile" And after I thanked her for her kind compliment, she asked "WIll I have that same smile when I grow up?" And when I replied yes, her response was " Good, I can't wait!" THAT'S GENETIC MIRRORING. She learned to love something about herself based on seeing it on someone she loves. Her personal features, while they might not be the greatest ( it's a goofy smile), are wanted and desired traits based on her experinces with me. To her, I am beautiful..and becasue she is goning to look a heck of a lot like me, she will she herself as beautiful when she is reaching adulthood. So self-esteem, self aceptance, confidence..they all can stem from positive gentic mirroring. There are also other adoption related issues that the non adopted will never be able to fully understand, like the issues of adoptee loyalty. Talk to almost any adopted peson, and often, if they are about to critique adoption, or say something positve about their first families, then they must paraphrase it with something alosn the lines of " I love my adoptive parents, they were great..." or " I had a great childhood and I wouldn't change a thing, but..." In all actuality, no matter what I know and what I have studied and read, I don't even have a right to speak for the adoptees and how they feel.. they do it well enough, so go over to Ungrateful Little Bastard and check out the huge adoptee blogroll there and listen to them..please. Anyway, back to the study, I did notice this one little jem that I just have to repost:

Furthermore, the parent of an adopted child may have a lower threshold than the parent of a nonadopted child for reporting a behavior as problematic.

For me, this kind of goes back to the whole surrounded by people who are not related to you and just don't GET you. Oh, I know that not everybody is trully understood in their family even when full of biological breeding. I have a father that I haven't seen in over 20 years who I don't want to get at all as he is such a jerk head poopy face and I have a biological cousin who seemed to take after the non Italian side of the family and divorced us all years ago, but there are certain things that I just get about all my four kids ( including Max who I did not raise) and my brother too..becasue we are made of the same stuff. And I do NOT mean this to be a dis to any adoptive parents to whom this does not apply to..you know who you are..and you know that I heart you...so if it doesn't apply to you , then don't take offense, but... It's like.. I love my own kids. I usually even like them. I used to like ALL kids except the very very bad ones. We are talking a million years of baby sitting, three summers being a summer rec counsellor, 4 plus years of being a pre-school teacher, more babysitting, student teaching, running a day care, etc. Kids were my thing. But, with the exception of sopme few kids that rock, I really do like my own kids more than anyone elses. They drive me crazy less. I understand them more. I know how to make them do what they should better...we are in tune.. Now if I had to live with, every day, some kid who did not mesh with me.. I think I would be more apt to loss my patience and think.. well ther is something wrong with this kid and I better get him fixed. And really, there might be something wriong wiotht eh adopted child, but their might not be either. They just might be naturally made of differnt stuff that you just don't get. Bottom line.. for me.. adoption is like the concpet of original sin in a certain way. No that it is "bad" in a sinful way and I think the Church is silly like that, but in a way it is burdening an innocent child with something that is just not necessary most of the time. Yes, we don't get to request our lot in life, and there are many ways that any adopted peson will say that they beneffitted even if you weed out the adoptee loyality stuff, and yes, we all end up with issues and trauma and baggage...but if we all have a canvas tote that must get filled up with baggage to carry around all our days, then why would you start fillin git up with adoption rocks right from the get go if you don't have too? Is the house really, really burning down? And then, there is the other very real aspect of a study like this... If I know it, and you know it, and Time knows is, and US News and World Report knows it, and National Public Radio gets it, and the Chicago Tribune spreads it, and the Star Tribune reports on it, and the Kansas City Star writes about it, and even the Youngstown Vindicator says it... then someone please explain to me how come we will NOT see this study, or the previous studies proving the same kind of results, being explained to expectant parents considering adoption for their children? I know we won't. The agencies just do not do it. They tell considering moms that adoption is great and wonderful and their kids will be blessed and "better off" having everything... yep. Everything including double the risk of ending up on a phycologist couch wondering what the heck is wrong with them that they can't wrap thier heads around the concept if you love someone so much, you give them away. Or in all fairness, will we see agencies explain to presepctive adoptive parents that the child could be more prone to such mental helath issues and then assisting them in post adoptive services and training so that they can avooiid them as much as possible? Or no, will they just say that it is the same as having a paper pregnancy and then happily take that paper check all the way to the bank? I leave you with a little prayer: Dear God, show me one agency that will offer up the information from this study to considering parents so that I can have fate in humainty again. Please go here for the full study, from the Archives of Pediatric and Adolesent Medicine The University of Minnesota Press Release for the study is here as well.

Review: Inside a Cult..of Adoption

I missed the beginning, and I missed the end, but what I did see made chills run up and down my spine. Yes, this Michael Travesser guy is a freak. Yes, it's all very scary stuff. The whole having sex with young virgins because he is the Messiah is nasty stuff. But what really peeked my interest was the control aspect of how this guy manages to convince all these people to do what is against their moral structures. You know, kind of like mothers giving their babies away to strangers. In the video, you will hear from a former cult follower, Prudence, who speaks of the power of suggestion used. Yeah, she is critical and bitter, but then again..she was taken in and abused by this cult, so she has a right to be angry and bitter and want others to know the warnings and this self proclaimed "god's" misguidance. Anyway, she talks of how the power of suggestion is used and before we know it, the girls are literally begging to have sex with this guy for god, and his stance is that "he didn't ask for it..they wanted it.." and are we ready.. it was THEIR CHOICE. What was so very interesting to me is what the I-Still-can't-dig-up-her-name Cult specialist physiologist had to say. Luckily, she is on the NatGeo Inside a Cult video clip and so I just listened to it like six times to be able to transcribe her words: "Sex is one of the very common control mechanisms used in cultic groups. If you are able to control some one's sexuality or sexual behavior, that's reaching into the deepest part of that person. That's also touching, what for many people is, not only the most intimate part of themselves, but the place where people are also the most troubled or the most questioning or unsure of themselves.." So while your nice and kind neighborhood adoption agency won't make you have sex with them, their is a huge aspect of sexuality in the obvious failure of one's sexuality by being in an unplanned pregnancy. Because one was weak, or bad, or unresponsible, one gave in and had sex with the wrong guy, or at the wrong time, or without the right protection, or just had the pure misfortune of being uber fertile.. that leads to the crisis pregnancy. And the nice kind agency is assisting one in controlling that sexual aspect of themselves as well. I mean usually, here are complete strangers, in the form of your counsellor or your social worker or your mentor or the agency director or even your soon to be born babies potential adoptive parents..and they know all these aspects of your sexuality. They know your deepest secrets, your vulnerabilities, your weakness, your failings. And that, my dears, is to me, so obviously one way that they get control over us relinquishing mothers... and we "choose" adoption so happily...following the suggestions that adoption makes it all right again...and we happily give away our babies..and go off into the sunset. Where we suffer for the next god knows how long without our babies..scratching our heads going what the fuck did I do? Just like the poor girls in the video will probably someday do as well. Of course, in general society will feel bad for these girls.. they were obviously coersed and controlled.. where in adoption, we really just "wanted" the separation from our children....sigh. It's worth a watch for sure. According to NatGeo it will air again tonight 5/8 at 1am, Sunday the 11the at 2am and then Wednesy 5/14 at 6pm. And if anyone catches the name of the expert lady in the red shirt.. please tell me. I want to read more of her stuff.

An update on my left arm

For the record, my arm is still very broken. Yes, if you are not aware of my lack of grace and poise that casued this back in early October, I have been existing for more than the past 7 months with a very broken left humerus. It pretty much sucks. It's obviously that no one really likes to break a bone and that it casues pain. That's a given. I knew that was happening the minute that I relaized that dern, I hurt myself falling. Of course, back then, in early October, I errounously thought that bones healed in 6 to 8 weeks. At least, that is what every other broken bone I ever knew of ever did... they heal. My arm, though..not healing. After 3 months in a hard cast, then over 3 in a softer brace, I still feel my bones click when I do certian movements like.. wipe down the kitchen counter. After 5 months of "non fusion" which is the medical term, I finally got to see the actual bone doctor. Before that I always saw the other guy.. I forget what his job title is, but I got knocked up to the higher up since my arm will not behave. I have to give him credit as the first thing he said when reviewing my still bad looking Xray was : "Do you have much pain". At this point I assume that either I have a HUGE tolerance for pain, or my body has decided that it doesn't do me any good to hurt so it is blocked out. In either case, I don't take anything as far as medication and have not for over 6 months. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't kill me either. Mostly, having a broken arm is just annoying as all living hell. Yes, sometimes it aches, and sometimes I get shooting pain, and now the latet thing is that my shoulder and elbow ache from probably overcompensating for movement that I cannot do. Anyway, back to the doc..what we determined form that visit in March was that my arm is just not healing. He doesn't quite know why. Aparently, I fall into a weird 1% who have issues....great. Lucky me. Anyway, by one angle, then my bones are lined up, but from the other angle, they are at a 30 degree angle....so basically, I have a hugely deformed looking arm. It bends in the middle where it should be straight and becasue they are not fully ( or at all) fused, when I try to use my arm, then the one part of bone pretty much pops out. It's kind of like having a third elbow. I can gross people out. It's like my new super power: FauxClaud she can make you gag with one look at her defomed arm! Whoohoo... And the best part.. it's not ever going to be ok again. :) The goal now is to get it to work Ok again, but the bones are just not lined up, nor will they.. so it's always gonna llok very weird..unless I have the surgery that they said I needed to have the first time they saw my xray. But then, said I was Ok with just the casting becusee I worked in food service and waitstaff..even in fancy 4 star joints don't get health insurance. Of course, now the docs say that even if I had a million dollars they would have treated me the same way.. I just have a freak arm. And now, even with it NOT healing, they don't WANt to do surgery becasue I would have to have whatever bone growth there has been, chipped out, and have a rod and screws put in ,and now I would have to have cadaver bone grafts too...yeah, dead peoples bones in my arm..never thought I would want to be " part Zombie" as Tristan likes to put it. In the meantime, becaue they now fear the operation aspect of it.. I have been give an bone stimulator machine to try to convince my arm bones to grow. I have to give the docs credit on this. They key word here is GIVEN. It's a five thousand dollar machine apartently..and they got in touch with the company rep who, that day, met Rye and GAVE me this machine. So every night for about 10 hours, I strap this thing on my arm and go to sleep. It doesn't do much, but cherp alot..and send electro magnetic pulses to my bones. I have to do this for 112 days. I'm half way through about.. and I have to say, glad I didn't pay for this thing becasue I don't think it is doing squat. My arm is still very broken. I want to get it filmed for YouTube. I know people like the gross and deformed. Why not make thousands gag. So, I ignore the fact that I have been walking around for the past 7 months with a broken arm. I drive, I do laundry, I do dishes, I can cook...so really..I function. Some things are really HARD and HURT..like putting my hair in a ponytail or bun...or tweezing my eyebrows....as I only have use form my elbow down. The upper arm can only move a few inches up and down and then my bone pops out and feels all funky. So I have 1 and 1/2 arms. My brother was freaking out over my arm during my pre-birthday planning; "If we can put a man on the moon, then why can't they fix your damn arm?" People have trouble understanding how this is happening, but after a few months of being very mopey aboput it, I can deal. Yes, it is a good reason WHY we need national health car, but.. that's not happening tomorrow either. So I deal. I do what I must..and sometimes I say.. "hey, watch the arm!" I fiqure in the grand scheme of things, it's not the best, but it's not the worst...so I can live with it. And when I get real annoyed I only have to think "It's better than cancer". Now the point of this update.. besides allowing you to hear me bitch and moan..will be seen shortly.