Mystery Solved!

I got an Email message from a very lovely lady....I'll call her LL..who is a prespective adoptive parent who..is DEMANDING ETHICS in adoption. She sees the issues before going in...her pre-adoptive resaech is INCLUDING ETHICAL CONCERNS! Which is amazing to me really...that enough evidence is out there that people even know to think of this.. and yes, they get it! Really, Emails like this.. they make my day! So yes, she had linked here from these previously unknown private-like adoption boards..and if Mr. Handy Site Meter tells tales..then that story is that many other people are following LL's lead. I had thought form their similar places in the "adoption journey" that they were one and the same, but...LL says this blog is not her! But so worth a read! Go check out this Blog. It sure isn't killing me.. if anything, it makes me cry and get weepy like. It's post like this, knowing people like this live and breath that give me reassurance that this is all worthwhile.. it's not a waste of time.. all this writing.. all this time spent. So all rather validating. And then...lol..I get a call from an adoption agency...like three minutes ago.. hands still shaking with...disgust. See, I had request one of their " birthparent booklets" and did so in Scarlett's name, as I usually do. And it came..priority mail, chocked full of "info" and six full color, black spiral bound "profiles" of amazing people. It's really gross, and it sits here next to me, I have been occupied with other stuff. And they called..for Scarlett the poor girl facing a crisis pregnacy..just to "check up". I actually didn't say much..but Caroline was a bit taken aback. She did say it was "ok" for me to request the packet...lol..gee thanks.
By Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy aka FauxClaud on Wednesday, December 12, 2007

6 comments:

  1. Ha! I saw your the newest member of the second community (I tried making an account there, too)! Hopefully you're also into altdotlife now. Your link is broken or otherwise I'd try to get it for you. (Says Dawn who became a member after looking at her own stats a year or so back.)
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  2. Yeah, but now I can't get into that second community!1 They had to approve me, and I have the sneaking suspecion that they did not.. as I doubt my memory is THAT bad that I cannot remember a password from one day to the next!
    And I didn't even bother trying the Alltdotlife one.. I just want a fessup!
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  3. I'm getting an incoming link from Altdotlife too, and the curiousity is eating me, too. So if you find out what it is.. spread the knowledge!

    I am optimistically thinking that someone listed our blogs as good resources. =)
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  4. I am the Mystery Linker! And N. is righteous in her optimism. I'm trying to spread the good word via your blogs, and I F'ed up by not breaking the links first.

    Claud, I emailed you again to ask if you'd mind taking down the second community's URL. It's an invite-only board, which is why no one can see anything.
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  5. Thanks for telling us about that post. I can't believe she gets it, but she really does get it. Wish more APs and PAPs got it. Hell, I wish more of the general public got it.

    Why did you request info from an adoption agency? I would likely throw up if that were in my home.
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  6. Thanks for your kind words, Claudia. Sorry again for the mystery.

    And I want to say that I believe there are more adoptive and prospective-adoptive parents out there who "get it" (or at least try) than you may think! Some of us grew up with family members who lost children during the "baby scoop" era, or had friends in school or college who did adoptions with better or worse outcomes. Others of us work with reproductive-justice and anti-racism projects that have given us exposure to the intersections that trouble many adoptions, or come from personal backgrounds that have left us with our own understanding of the issues. Whatever the reason, there are many of us who do NOT want to become parents at the expense of other women's mental, emotional, sexual, or physical health at whatever level that can be avoided. It's not something we can live with personally, nor a legacy we want our adopted children to have to deal with if at all possible.

    We're not saints either, anymore than you are. We will make mistakes, and unfortunately we may end up participating in damaging policies or parenting or relationships with our children's other parents because of the ignorance of our time and place in adoption history. But we are trying, and your stories help us know what questions to ask and what rights to insist on. We couldn't be pushing for change from our end without you, so please know how valuable we find your insights and how much we appreciate your generosity in voicing them.

    Thanks everyone for the dialogue, and hope to be in touch along the way. Good vibes to you all!
    ReplyDelete

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