Uck! Bleck! Ugg!

I don't usually get too upset over other people's inane commentary. OK, that's a bit of a lie, but for the most part, I expect stupidity when I dare to read "regular" folk saying things about adoption. And, I have to admit, it seems like lately, things are a bit better...it's that hope thing again, I was really looking forward to seeing what the New York Times had for their token 'birth mother' piece on their Relative Choices Blog. Granted it would be nice if they had more than just one of our voices, but one is probably some progress and should I be so greedy? The obvious answer there is yes! lol. Anyhow, nice piece...rather short in my opinion, but seemed to work.. comments were favorable.. and then I get down to #28 and I wanted to... hurl? die? scream? shake the author until blood ran from her nose?

I am so glad you gave up your daughter for adoption: I was counseled in 1969 toward an abortion–still illegal–by the chaplain at Cornell University. I have marked her birthday ever since (yes, I have always believed it was a girl), and I have suffered for my act in many ways ever since.

OK, so I really do have a feeling of sympathy. I do..I mean, obviously this person has suffered. The birthday/ anniversary thing defiantly speaks to me and in that there is a shared feeling of loss. I know if you took out the word abortion and put in adoption, I would offer her a hug and soothing coos of shared sisterhood...but I just can't get past that first sentence!!

I am so glad you gave up your daughter for adoption.

Bleck!!! So GLAD?? WTF?? Is it just a bad choice of wording? Does the author mean perhaps the touted: At least you can have your happy reunion? At least you can see your child again? I mean, I can get that to a degree. It is great to finally have the lost and found child back in your life, but so GLAD? Did they miss the part about the years of suffering? Or is it assumed that the suffering is worth it due to the reunion?

I am so glad that you were needlessly separated from your child and she was never properly mothered...so she could want you back in her life..be glad you didn't kill her...coz then you wouldn't have this moment? At least you have that.. I have nothing.

That's horrible? right? But isn't that what it says? And more the reason why ABORTION and ADOPTION are so freaking separate!!!! You cannot apply the same things to both. A comment so gross as that can get by the sensors.. but if I went on a Op Ed piece and commented to an unhappy abortion,

I am so glad that you had an abortion: I was counseled in 1987 toward an adoption by a well respected agency in Mass. I have marked his birthday ever since (yes, I have always known he was a boy), and I have suffered for my act in many ways ever since.

That just wouldn't make any sense!! KWIM? You can counter adoption with "at least you didn't abort", but you can't counter abortion with at least you didn't do an adoption... or you look like a nut job!!

Uggg.. and I feel very unable to express this properly..so I am just gonna stop now. I had a bad flu for Thansgiving..never had turkey touch my tounge yet! Fever, chills, vomit, headache from hell, throut on fire.. good news is that i think i lost ten pounds in 3 days, bad news is.. I was sick and still can't make a complete sentence. So I'll just stick to "Bleck!"