The time has come..

...that I must say good-bye to one of my dearest and finest companions. I have known that this time was coming, in fact it is long over due, but I dreaded it never-the-less. It's just not a healthy relationship, really. There is a co-dependancey, some enabling, and in the long run, well..lets just say that things that pretend to be your friends, usually are exactly the opposite. Snake in the grass, really. I know no good will come of keeping them close. But it's gonna be real hard. I mean, after all, we have been together, on and off, (though mostly on for the last ten years or so) for over twenty years. And it's not a simple thing to just say "NO!" when usually, I convince myself that "yes" is what I want. Like the Song to the Sirens, I get seduced, beguiled, sucked into a mindset where I end up doing exactly what I don't want. But it has to end. It's gonna end here. I'm done. I WILL BE DONE! I know I have said it all before, but it feels different this time. I am ready. I quit smoking today. Good bye, my constant companions, my calmers of nerves, the hankie to dry my tears, my de stressers, my lullabyes, my wakeup calls, my driving buddies...good bye, good bye..and don't let the door hit you on the way out! You are no friends of mine. Sucking up all my money and my life. I will rid this continious cough, the stink of the ashtray, the desire to inhale! I will save my 5 bucks a day, times two coz Rye quit too..and keep that 3 grand a year in my pocket. Screw you, Phillip Morris!! I want a new car!! I want to go to Disney World! I want to BREATHE!!!!! Maybe I'll even take up exercising.....HA HA!!!! No seriously, pray that my children live though this time of extreme Mommy bitchiness. Yeah, this will be overlapping with PMS..in about 3 days. Pray that Rye and I don't kill each other. Last time we seriously tried to quit..we almost did..the fighting was insane... and then went..."Nah, let's just smoke for the sake of our relationship" But yeah, I am done. Buh bye! I QUIT!