How many??

So here I am. The kids are in school..all of them..full day. And I haven't found another job yet, so I have these days...that would seem like they should stretch on and on, but really..somehow..I am finding much to do. Or actually Rye is finding much for me to do. It's pretty interesting. The house is so quiet. I am glad we have the dog, Lilly. WOuld you beleive that I am so conditioned NOT to go anywhere by myself that I actually took her to the bank yesterday? Pathethic, I know. I am very very disgusted and mad at the Commonwealth of Massachusettes. The stupid governor signed their bad bad open records bill..and really...it just sucks. It is a lousy bill. Bastardette does it best, so go read her. I just hate it. Max's OBC is totally in the black out period...so basically...even with being in reunion...we can NEVER have his original birth certificate. UGG! Yesterday I had a phone meeting with the very awsome Dr. Rick Boas. I hooked up with the good Doc in July at KAAN. He is leaving for Seoul next week to meet with women's rights groups and the maternity homes there and to try to get some family presevation dialogue going. THis man is the real deal..I adore him. Not only does he, an adoptive father himself "get it"..he DOES IT! Which is why he so appropiatly recieved the Family Presrvation Award of the Year!! What is really an honor...for me? I spent an hour on the phone with him yesterday..and I don't feel like I said anything too profound or helpful, but somehow..he found it inspiring..getting him all charged up to go to Korea and stir it all up. Moi? So he says...But seriously...my pleasure. Anyway..the conversation with Rick got me thinking. Always a dangerous thing. As we were question the "what" that allows people to really be able to open thier eyes and view adoption as it is...in all its nuances. My slow growth on the internet, his epitimy at the maternity home in Korea last year..other people who have been effected..trying to find out what makes people care. Now mind you this is becasue he is asking me what works..and I am like " if I knew that , well then we would have adoption changed by now!" but again...it's the "WHY don't people care??" And we got into the whole..villianification of the surrendering mothers, the "take responsibility" thing, the whole " did the crime now do the time", the emotional investments of people involved in adoption, how becoming unclouded totally rocks one's foundation of beleifs not only about adoption, but about our own personal "goodness", how it takes time to process etc. Not to mention the resisitnace if one is profit driven...oh, that would be the industry! And though the day, I would think about it. Again. Why is America NOT caring? Why is the media NOT doping these stories? Why does Oprah still ignore the mothers? And I was thinking along the lines of: Well, people still find it easier to dismiss those who speak up against the industry as the exceptions, right? "Most people" are happy? The internet only gives one a small view of the adoption community as the happy ones are busy living, not bitching and feeling sorry for themselves online? Sound familier? And we don't change for only a few, right? Or do we? Like I was thinking about the McDonalds Coffee cup case.. ONe woman gets burns..and really..they DID change the temperture of the cups. "Interestingly the news media, the day after the verdict, documented that coffee at McDonald’s in Albuquerque is now sold at 158 degrees. Mission accomplished" Now I never burned myself form a coffee cup. And we can mock this woman and say " well dern, why did you open your legs to that cup to begin with?" And some might say she was stupid to put her cup there so she desrved to get burned...but someone DID get hurt..and that is not a good thing. So I do feel better knowing that when I buy a cup of coffee I have a better chance NOT ending up in an ER. And then I started thinking about other cases in the news...silcon breast implants, all those diet drugs...heck ALL the drugs. The FDA conducts tests and release drugs to the public..ok. Now with great groups of people prescribed to a drug, some unknown or low risk side effects take place. Now if we have enough of these side effects and they are bad enough..guess what? They PULL the drug! Does it matter that only .02 percenty of the contol group drops dead? Well yes, we do! Look at the China lead scare. A child would have to eat a pile of paint chips... a pretty big sized pile. And honestly, we are so much more lead consious then we use to be anyway. I think it was one of the kids Peds who was telling me that the "acceptable" blood lead level has hugly changed over the years..and that when we were kids we commonly had three times the "acceptable" levels in our bodies all the live long day. But, man...get those bad toys out of here!!! Even if only three kids in the US are really chewing that evil Dora doll and getting their lead on. ( lol I am sorry..could not resist!) ..that's three kids too many, right? Gosh even just this morning, there was somehting on the news.."an investigative report" on the NFL pensions. And somehow in this, I began to feel bad for Mike Dicka coz he has a lousy pension form the NFL. Of course, he can pump that up with his TV appearences and ...is it Athkete's foot he does?? But there are the lesser players, who got real disabilating football injuries and whom the NFL has left out to dry..and damnit man, we need to do something about that! But women who surrender thier children to adoption? Nah...who cares about them there crack whores? And thats the thing! I mean how can a whole country get all up and arms becasue Don Imus makes one statement about one team and THAT gets national attention? But, we have aproximatly, and you know we have to say aproximatly becasue even the industry cares little enough that they don't even track the real numbers, 15 THOUSAND mothers a year separated from their child for really, not good enough reasons. And once again, in case you happen to be a new reader..we are not talking about CPS removals, or really a person with drug addiction. we are talking about ME..or Suz, or Nic, or Jenna. We are talking about fine normal people who happen to have gotten pregnant either at a time that was not optimal, or in a situation that was sucky, or with the wrong guy..and were either openly lied to, or forced, or duped, or mislead, or just denied the true and accurate information about adoption..and we walked into this life like lambs to a slaughter. Where is that excellent "Burning House" post written a few months ago? I need that link here ( and I am sure someone will supply it..hint hint)...but THAT post was one of the most fantastiuc things written IMO. None of our houses had real huge fires in them, but no one tried to supply a fire estinguisher...sometimes we were even denied the phone to call for help and they saved our babies, but not us..stupid girls getting ourselves knocked up.. and we were left in the rubble. And it STILL HAPPENS! A LOT! If not even more so, it seems. Maybe women are just realizing it sooner, but it seems that I get these sad emails once a week. Some don't wait 14 or 3 years for that WTF moment. This week's was totally heartbreaking, but again, a mom fighting for her baby back. So are we still the "few"..the minority, worthy of not giving two figs about? How many? How many do we need to say " THIS SUCKS" before we get our chance to be heard? The only thing I can liken it to is the stupid war. But don't most of us by now say " damn, thats too many dead and really..this war thing is just not working". Havn't we had enough of our people in body bags or with limbs blown off? Oh right, not according to the Shrub. That's what the military calls "calculated risk"..we expect soldiers to die. And then do we expect mothers to grive for life? Because the industry is still not even saying that. At least when you join the army you know their is a good chance that you might be blown up by something, but they are still telling us CWBM's that "our sadness will be replaced with a sense of peace". So we are expected risks..they expect casulaties in adoption, but they are not even telling us that...even though the professionals have known it for decades. They know it screws us up, but they still push it. And what is that agenda? Oh right...$$$. Motive for death of US troops...democracy?? NO..Oil money. Motive for the needless separtion of mothers and children..save the children? No..profit form the transfer of parental rights. Media coverage for both outrage? The war wins...though barely. Who wants to hear that depressing bit anyway? Not when we can read about Hollywood starletts behaving badly..much more amusing. Now if we can only get Paris or Britteny to surrender a child. Then MAYBE it will hit the news and their will be a lawsuit and things will change. AFter all we did want Anna Nicoles' baby to go to her REAL father. Of course I watched that cool Star Wars special on the History Channel or somehting last night..my favorite quote in there is from Linda Ellerbee ( paraphrased): " STAR WARS TEACHES US THAT ONE PERSON CAN CHANGE THE WORLD..IN FACT THAT IS THE ONLY WAY IT IS EVER HAPPENED" No wonder I have the rebel alliance insignia tattood on my back.