The End of Exile

After Finding my Son on Social Media

Into MySpace and the future I went.

And I found..nothing.

No response, no message, no signs, BUT he had added me to his Friends list..so what did it all mean?

Back into chat, we went over what we knew and what I had sent in the first message. It was decided that it was just too cryptic and that he didn't put it together. After all, on MySpace you expect to get friend requests from random girls and odd notes from people you don't know. That's what the place is about. You don't expect that the woman who gave birth to you will find you.

Making First Contact on My Space

I hemmed and hawed. Could I come right out and say it? "Hi, I am your mother."

Discussed, debated and drafted, finally I sent out:

"You should know that I am not just some random person to add to your MySpace friends list. You call yourself Mysterious Max. It's not a mystery to me. I named you Max."

Alas, the original also seems to have been lost ( Damn my computer hard drive that failed this year!!! I had them all saved) but that was the gist. I also switched out my picture from my default to the one of him as a baby and myself as I had a feeling that that was the picture of me and him that he had and kept in his drawer as reported by the agency. And then, feeling so very scared, yet excited, and a wee bit bad..I hit send.

The next day was more of the same. Worked the two jobs and tried to be normal.

Holy smokes… mom?

At the end of my shift again, messages from Mom22 on my cell. This time, he had posted a message under my Blog.

I had put "Musings after the Pumpkin Patch" on there and Mom22 had commented:

"Claud, you bring me to tears......I know that the day will come when you will hold him again and feel those cheeks so close to yours."

As she was my monitor of MySpace while I was AFK, she read to me over the phone the first words from my son: "you're darn right she will. "

I cried on the way home.

My heart sang my song of motherhood from so long ago."Mine, mine, my baby, my son, my Max"
I really don't know how I drove, but I assured her that I would be OK. Somehow I was and repeated the same performance of the night before..in the house, up stairs, log on, get into chat, and into MySpace where the little red light shown next to my "New Messages" and there, in response to my Mysterious note, were the most beautiful lovely three words I have ever read:

Holy smokes...mom?

I copied and pasted and "ran" back into chat. Hit send.

Support During an Adoption Reunion

There must have been over 30 of us in that room that night. All waiting. All so dear to me and so instrumental in my search, in my ability to become a mother who finds her child, in my understanding and preparation for this moment. It was so very great to be able to share. It was not just my moment, or my triumph, or my joy, but belonged to all of us. And that night, as the words hit the screen, more than 30 incredible ladies from all over the world, in all walks of life, all cried tears of joy.

Three words from a boy none of us really knew..and we cried half the night. Holy smokes...mom?

They are the finest words I have ever read, ever heard, ever seen.

And on April 4th 2005, I ended myself imposed exile from my first born son. It was over. My baby was returned to me..a man child, but still my baby in my heart.

It was, without a doubt, beautiful.